Freedom from the Greener Grass

We've all been there.

We applied for a job or a show that we really wanted and we didn't get it. Intead they gave it to someone else. You've been trying to get pregnant and yet everyone on facebook seems to be posting baby announcemets. You've been on several horrible dates and have lost your faith in love, and that same person who stole your job opportunity tells you how they have met the love of their life and they found it when they "just weren't looking for it".

The grass really does always seem greener on the other side of the screen. We get on facebook and all we seem to see is what everyone else is achieving, We are reminded of what we don't have. I can't tell you how may times I have not been cast in a show or watched someone else achieve something, and instead of being joyful for their accomplishement, I just felt jealous.  As much as I hated that about myself, it was really hard to change.

For me, It was hard realizing I was 28 and not married.  All of my friends were getting engaged. I never realized how bad it was until my best friend told me she was going to be nervous to tell me when she got engaged.  That was a huge wake up call for me.  I would never want my best friend to ever feel like I wouldn't support her.  I have spent my life wanting to encourage people, and instead I let my bitterness and envy cloud my thoughts and actions. 

Believe me, when you feel those pangs of jelousy... you  not alone.  No it may not always seem fair, but here is the truth...

Those opportunties weren't meant for you.

On the flip side, the blessings in your own life weren't meant for anyone else but you. 

Here's the beautiful thing:Other people's successes do not diminish your own success.

Just because another girl is pretty does not make me any less beautiful. We have to get out of this comparing mindset and realize that your life is exactly that... YOUR life.  It's YOUR journey. Nobody else can write your story except you.  You were given your passion on purpose.

So what can we do to turn that "grass is always greener" mentality to "grass or no grass... I am grateful"

1) Check your thoughts. When you find yourself being jealous of someone  else's accomplishments or success, congratulate them. Put kindness and humility into the world. You'll find you will be more grateful for the things you have in your own life when you congradulate others on their accomplishments.

2) If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  It happens when sometimes we just can't be or aren't happy about something or someone.  And THAT'S OKAY!!! The trick is learning the art of keeing it to yourself and not dragging their name through the mud.  You're the much bigger person by admitting you're not happy about it to yourself but no retaliating. Refuse to let anything diminish your greatness... because you ARE great!

3) I've said it before... make a gratitude journal. Write down the incredible blessings that ARE in your life so that you have something to remind you when it's hard to remember the good things that you DO have.

You're not alone, my dear one.

We're digging through this messy thing called life together. Let me remind you, you ARE enough. You ARE worthy. You ARE a force to be reckoned with.

And Let It Begin With Me....

Heartbreak. 
Change. 
Situations no one wants to face.
Recently, I sat in an airport near a couple that was in the heat of a fight. Their faces were riddled with hurt as they argued and lashed out. 

Then I realized..they weren't speaking English.

It's so interesting how suffering and struggle is universal. I didn't have to know what they were saying to understand what was happening. I didn't have to translate their words to feel the hurt and heaviness on their hearts.

My heart broke. 

How many times have I been on one side of that table? On the tearful one or the frustrated one. Far too often have I used my hands and my words to beg or plead for understanding, an apology, or any sign of hope; only to be met with anger, confusion, and doubt.  

"I love you, but I don't know if I see a future with you." 
"Why can't you just understand?" 
"You're not listening to me. Just listen to me!" 
"You're not worth it anymore."

We've all been seated at that table. 
So many of us get stuck for our entire lives on one side of that table. We get cemented into begging the world to understand, begging the world to apologize, begging for some kind of hope. 
I can promise you, the world won't give that to you. The world doesn't care. 

But that's not the end of the story.

The rest of the world may not answer you, but we can. We, this community,  can be the answer. We can show mercy to a stranger needing an encouraging word. To the homeless begging more for love than our money. To that coworker going through a divorce. To our friend who just lost her baby. To our overweight friend who is struggling to get off the couch. 
It's OUR job, our challenge, our mission to speak hope, truth, peace, and compassion to the world. 

WE CAN BE THE VOICE WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

So let's change the song that the world is singing. 
1) Change the way you speak to yourself. It's that whole log in your own eye before the speck in your brothers eye thing. You'll find it easier to encourage others if you encourage yourself first. 
2) Seek out at least three people in your life to encourage everyday-- three different people everyday. Better yet, make one of the people you encourage a stranger. Give them a compliment, ask how they are really doing, or tell them they are incredible. 
3) When someone opens up to you about their struggles, LISTEN TO THEM. Make eye contact with them. Put down your phone and give them your undivided attention. Show them you care by giving them one of the best gifts you can give- your time. 

Let's change the world's tone of voice.