If you spoke to your friends, the same way that you speak to yourself, would your friends still be there?
Let's be honest. The answer is probably a resounding no.
You've heard it all before.
"you're your own worst critic."
"We are always harder on ourselves than anyone else."
But the real question is why.
WHY is it acceptable to pummel ourselves into the ground? WHY is it okay for us to tear ourselves down and believe so little in ourselves that we give up on something before we even start.
The answer...
Fear.
I've been there. You are not alone.
How many of you have believed this lie? "If I just expect the absolute worst to happen, then anything other than that will be great, and I won't be disappointed?" Then you try to imagine just how bad it could be and talk yourself out of doing it all together.
I believed that lie for a really long time. Hell, there are still times when life gets to be too much that I find myself trying to brace for the worst. I realized that by tearing myself down and expecting the worst, I spent more time talking myself out of dreams because of fear and missed out on UNFATHOMABLE joy if I had just trusted and spoke grace, confidence and humility to myself.
SO how do we stop this "empty glass" mentality
1) Check your crew.
What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? How do they speak to each other? How do they speak to YOU? Do they tear you down, or build you up? Do they show you grace and support even if you don't always win?
By answering these questions, you can start to make a change. Start to seek out the people who speak truth and hope into your life. These people are sometimes hard to find in the negative swamp of Facebook and Instagram, but I promise they are there. Step back from people who bring you down, make you feel bad about yourself, or spend all of their time degrading people or talking behind others backs. (Sad truth is.. they're talking about you too...and you just don't have time for that)
2) SHOW YOURSELF GRACE!
I need you to focus on this next statement.
Are you focused yet?
YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL SOMETIMES. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A FAILURE. There is a huge difference between failing and BEING a failure. Give yourself enough room to fall down, and let it be okay to do just that! Where you become a gladiator is when you don't say to yourself "You're an idiot. Why did you do that? You are so stupid. Don't ever dream big again otherwise you will always be embarressed, stress, and let down". INSTEAD say "well damn, that kinda sucked. But I'm so proud of myself for trying. The fact that I tried puts me a hundred steps ahead of the person who didn't. Ha! That's pretty cool! I may have failed at this, but that just means that's over with and now I can succeed double next time". You'll be suprised at how your luck will seem to shift.
3) DO SOMETHING.
Just. Do. Something. Take one risk. It can be very little. Talking to a stranger. Do a pay it forward at a restaurant. Crack a joke you've been thinking about. Do Karaoke. Take a dance class. Do an amateur stand up comedy night! What have you been putting off because you're afraid? What have you talked yourself out of? It doesn't have to be huge, but it has to be something. And then afterwards, EVEN IF IT DIDN'T TURN OUT EXACTLY AS YOU PLANNED, give yourself a big pat on the back. Because even if you took 10 steps forward and 9 steps back.... you still moved forward one very beautiful step.
Now THAT'S something to celebrate wouldn't you say?
Yeah.
Me too!