"Holding onto anger is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die." -Buddah
-Ohhhh I am never going to forgive you for this.
-I hate that person.
-What you did is unforgivable.
We all have that one thing, that one person, that one event that when we think about it the anger gauge in our body hits an all time high. Someone who may have broken our heart or stolen from us. A person who let us down. A liar. When we were treated unfairly. When we were disrespected. When we lost.
I have two events in my life that have been hard to let go of. Once was the time two people continually lied to me and convinced me I was in the wrong for how I felt. When those relationships ended, I couldn't stop being angry about it. The other was when I was VERY disrespected where I was employed. It made me feel like my talent, my time, and my heart didn't deserve to be respected.
Unfortunately the only person that any of that painful anger is hurting is us. We can go and spit in face of the people who hurt us and curse them up one side and down the other but, what does that achieve? In the end, we are the ones holding the burning hot coal of anger and it's only burning our hand, not theirs. They are unaffected by the pain and hurt that's inside of us. In all honesty they probably have completely moved on with their lives and don't pay us a second thought.
So why are we killing ourselves?
How can we stop the cycle?
It's a slow process, but this is what helped me get past the anger
Here's a way to start:
1. Write it down. Get it out of your head. Whether that means writing a hypothetical letter to that person or the event itself. Be honest, be brutal, but get it out of your head onto paper.
2.Make a list of the things that make you smile or feel blessed. If a person's name ends up on that list tell them that you appreciate them. Put that list where you can see it everyday. Use it as a reminder of what you have to be thankful for.
3. Love yourself enough to know that YOU ARE WORTH MORE than letting someone else steal your happiness, confidence, or energy. Let go of the coal. Stop drinking the poison and expecting it to hurt someone besides you. They aren't worth it but you are.
Remember, forgiving doesn't mean you forget it just means you don't let it control you anymore. You do NOT have to be friends or let the person or thing that harmed you back into your life. But, refuse to let those feelings rule you anymore.
Keep shining my friends.
You're worth it