"No way man."
"I'm too scared... you go first."
Fear is the driving force behind so many of our choices and actions. It's the reason we avoid, numb, lie, hide, and run.
We all have fears. I struggle with the fear of being too much to handle.
I've had one too many people tell me, "Kate, you're just...a lot." I hate making people uncomfortable, so imagine how it feels to have someone tell you that who you are is just...too much.
I'm also afraid of dying alone, but we'll tackle that fear another time.
Many of our fears form from past experiences. We don't want to experience a time of pain and suffering like we once did. The memory of the pain is enough to stop us in our tracks.
What incredible opportunities are you missing by allowing fear to dictate your life?
- You had your heart broken, so you don't pursue that person who just might be your perfect match.
- You were fired from a job you poured everything into, so you don't apply for your dream position.
- Your mom or dad told you that you weren't good enough and wouldn't amount to anything, so you don't apply to college.
How do we overcome these seemingly insurmountable limits created by our fears? How do we stop letting them control our decisions and actions?
(What I'm about to share with you slowly by surely helped me overcome fear. Don't get me wrong, I still feel fear, but with these I continue to move forward despite every fearful thought and feeling telling me no.)
1. Come Up With a Mantra. It could be anything; the Lord's Prayer, the serenity prayer, counting to 10, a chant...anything that you can repeat over and over to yourself to reset your thinking when fear is creeping in. I was raised with the Lord's Prayer, so that's usually my go-to. It helps me refocus my thoughts and reminds me that ultimately, I'm okay.
2. Know Who Your Real Friends Are. Real friends are the special friends who love and know you well enough to know what you need to hear. They are the ones who will help ease you out of the cage of fear and can give you the confidence you need to be brave. They are the friends who will celebrate the victories with you, and speak grace and kindness in the times when you fall short. Lean on these friends. They help bring light to the terrifying darkness fear brings.
3. Reward yourself on the small victories against fear. Sometimes just standing up to fear and making the decision to make a change is a victory in itself. Do something special for yourself when you act out of courage against fear. Treat yourself!!! This is huge.
We all have the power to overcome our fears. It may not happen quickly or easily, but when you're standing on the other side looking at how far you've come in your journey you'll realize just how much stronger you are than ANY fear.
You are brave.
You are enough.
You are a force to be reckoned with.
Take up your sword, gladiator. It's fear that should be afraid of YOU!!